I suppose it could be the advent of the new year. Or maybe the fact that it’s very quiet here at school this morning. Or it may even be turning 50 in another week. But something’s definitely got me thinking about the big picture, life in general and where I go from here. Yeah, it’s probably that 50 thing. And no Dad, I’m not finally having the mid-life crisis you’ve been waiting for since I turned 40.
What I am having is a look at my life, both personal and professional. As my mom has always encouraged me to do, let’s look at the pros and cons, the good and the bad of life at this juncture of turning the big 5-0.
1. Two great kids.
a. Bryna. Married to another great kid, Cory. Both with solid jobs making good money, house and property (in the Randolph school district–bonus when they finally get around to giving us a couple of grandkids), they’re devoted to each other and obviously in love.
b. Tallon. Graduating from St. Bonaventure with above a 3.0, Deans List a couple of semesters, treats his mama with respect and love, does anything his dad asks him to, headed in all the right directions.
2. Derek. Husband of 26+ years. Still loves me, puts up with whatever I manage to throw at him and I still look forward to seeing him at the end of a long day. Collaborator, partner, friend, love.
3. Family. Derek and I have our parents to talk to, to love, to drive us crazy. My brother and Derek’s sister have beautiful families with terrific spouses and great kids. We all seem to like each other very much.
4. Friends. I, simply stated, have the most incredible friends imaginable. They are fun and funny and they are there for me and love me even when my ugly shows. Took me a very long time to learn this but I understand it now. Friends don’t have to love us but they seem to manage it anyway. Thank you.
5. Career. (Notice how I’ve got my priorities straight–career didn’t come first. And yes, took me a long time to learn this too and I may not be honest here but I know it should be this way, that’s a start.) I love my work, the day to day, the people, the KIDS, the challenges. Not everyone can say that either. I’ve got great coworkers, an incredible BOE, and really good friends among my superintendent colleagues. I like coming here every day and genuinely appreciate all that I have in my professional life.
Minus Side/Cons/Liabilities/Areas in Need of Improvement
1. Longevity. I don’t want this life to end. It’s big and beautiful and messy and I hate thinking I’ve got maybe 20-30 years left. Or one, who knows. So I’m going to try to put this out of my mind–no control here anyway. Make the most of every day and all that.
2. Health. Why is it that we work all of our lives to do our best, to improve, to take care of ourselves, to make a difference and in later life we may be riddled with physical illness, difficulties, indignities. I don’t like this, it’s not fair, it makes me angry and sad. As my mom says, life’s not fair and we just have to suck it up. Life doesn’t owe us anything. I do wish it would go a bit easier on her, my mom, though.
3. Career Success. I want to do a better job here at Randolph. This week. Next week. And for the next however many years but at least six. The Winter Break always pushes me to consider all of the things I can do better like reaching out to every employee and listening, giving positive feedback and praise when due, visiting more classrooms, writing and communicating more effectively with our entire school community, knowing more of our students and parents, putting together a smart, necessary capital project that’s good for our students and community, attending more events here at school—and—continuously improving my own work performance and the performance of our entire school community. Always looking to those areas in need of improvement.
4. Exercise, taking care of myself. Yeah, yeah. Need to exercise more, eat less, eat healthier. I’m trying!!!
5. Being a better friend. Making my friends a priority, especially those I seldom see like Lisa. Lisa is my college roomie and we now meet once per year in Chicago, for St. Patrick’s Day, and I look forward to it all year. No matter how busy life gets, I know we prioritize each other and our life-long friendship that weekend.
And my resolution for 2014, the same one I seem to have made for the past 30 years–to stop swearing. I’m a smart enough woman to use better words than those so if you hear me messing up on this one, call me out please. Have a wonderful and happy new year and when you see this old lady at 50? Be gentle.